The Most Undesirable Present

Morning class, today we will explore into the possibility of not getting the most undesirable gifts for men… and women of course.

I agree that I could have simply state that we will be talking about the possibility of getting the most desirable gift for men and women but the point here is that what is the actual possibility that the gift you get for someone will actually be liked by that someone.

I know that love is in the air as valentine is coming. People celebrate with their loved ones on this special day to remember their sweet moments as one. The day will be for someone to remember that someone for the tender loving care they shared for someone. Someone will be waiting for someone to let that someone do something for someone.

Please bear in mind although you hooked up couples are presently engaged into exploring more of your partner, there are also sad lovers out there who need our tender loving care. I know of someone out there who is lovesick. I know of someone out there who is still waiting. And I definitely know of someone out there who likes someone but dare not tell that someone. So how do you tell that someone that someone likes him/her?


A Gift

Preparing a correct and appropriate gift will be deemed as the most important. You would want to prepare a gift in order to impress but not in order to scare. You want to prepare a gift that is unique and different and not some Crocs slipper you can get at any corner of a neighborhood.

Let’s explore into some scenarios.


Giving what he/she likes

Assuming if you know that your friend likes cuddly bears, would you get her a furry teddy bear from Sasha Bear Company, or would you get her a bear from Watson’s?

You should not get her a bear at all.

Based on the fact that she likes something that would mean that she would have tons of those by now. Statistically, Singapore is very small and so what is the possibility of you getting the same thing as she already has?

If she already knows that you would be getting her something that she likes, there would be no element of surprise. Months after months, years after years, do you still think that she will like the bears your give her repeatedly after so many years?

I have a friend who loves pineapples; I do not see the girlfriend giving him tons and tons of pineapples as a present.


The degree of appropriateness

A lot of thought is required while selecting your presents. You do not want to be deemed stingy neither do you want to be deemed over-doing it. You want to make the partner comfortable while receiving the present and not scare her away.

It is quite common getting a nice photo frame as a gift, putting the lovebird’s photo in there so that your partner could think of you always.

It is a great idea for old lovebirds but not for the newbie.

You just met someone two weeks ago and you gave her a photo frame with your photo superimposed onto hers using your fantastic Photoshop skills. I swear to God that the lady will just throw the present onto your face and run away screaming.

The type of gifts will have to be chosen carefully parallel to how long you guys have known each other.

Handmade presents are usually nice. It brings out on how thoughtful and sweet and how much you think of that person while making the presents. But the basis that making a jigsaw puzzle, of the picture that you superimposed your face onto hers, as a present is ridiculous. This sounds like what a psycho will do.

Huge presents are loud and attention seeking. If you want to make yourself look good and make everyone awe at your present, gigantic presents are always great. It could be a huge teddy bear or a huge cushion or even a TV set. But the issue evolves if you make a big furry heart and then you put the jigsaw puzzle that you made, which shows the picture of your superimposed face with hers, on top of the heart, with a heart-shaped balloon tied to it right after you know her for three days. That sounds like what Mr. Incredible would do.

Giving sex weapons or restricted items is a no no even if you are the President of the country. You are trying to be funny and I am sure she will make you into a Bunny.


Flowers

A rose is a rose and nobody knows
How all my love just grows and grows
Never a mile when I wouldn't smile
And never a trial to love all the while

Women get excited over flowers and I do know some men who get excited over them too. The thing here is, what is the big a deal over flowers?

3 stalks – I love you
10 stalks – You are perfect
999 stalks - My love will last till the end of time
99999999 stalks – Stupid!!!!

Flowers are expensive and it wilts and dies. Why bother giving flowers to someone knowing that your present will die. Once it dies, it just ends up in the rubbish bin or remains old and yellowish till the end of time.

I strongly believe that flowers are a wrong misinterpretation of love for the special someone. Flowers live only for a very short period and does this mean that you would only love her in this period? Are you showing that someone that her youth is in due time and soon enough she would be like this flower, yellow and dry?


Chocolates

Chocolates are a fantastic gift which is sexy, sweet and elegant. Even a box of Ferrero Roche that a kid buy from 7-Eleven can beat hands down compared to the S-Class Mercedes Driver who bought the 99999999 roses from Far East Flora.

Chocolates, especially during valentines, come in an extravagant packaging which displays a sex appeal from the sender of the gift. The recipient will be impressed by the mysterious layout from the box that encapsulates sweet little treasures. The sweetness and bitterness of the chocolates allows the recipient to imagine the highs and lows of a relationship. The silver line being chocolates gets one horny.

Imagine having strawberries with chocolates while sipping a glass of Charles LaFITTE and exchanging sweet nothings. Sharing the old moments of the treasured times together and visions of a new future en-coupled with the debate over the GST hike.

Please do not create an opportunity where the box of chocolates is given to the recipient in the company of a large group of friends. Being a nice social animal most would magnanimously open the box of goodies and share with the group of close friends around her. Imagine the glutton taking three or four of the chocolates you carefully selected from SINS while that bugger just gobbled it up without even chewing.


Cards

I deem this the most appropriate and nicest present one could get for your loved ones. Asked yourself truthfully when was the last time you got her a card? A card is simply the cheapest and most affordable present one could get. To add in more effort, you can make the card and you can claim that this is the one and only card in the world, made especially for you.

A card goes a long way as you can write down words and phrases that displays your character. Furthermore it adds on to an element of surprise and creates a pinch of sincerity. Write down your thoughts or all those mushy words you never thought you could say. And finally you seal it with a kiss.



I know people would start saying that if I am all that great, what I would propose to be the most ideal gift to get this valentine.

I admit that I am not a Casanova but I would be more than happy to share what I deem as the most romantic and sweetest thing for one to do on valentines.

If you are alone this year and you need a woman, I say call this number 1900-SEX-CHAT.

If you are alone this year and you actually liked someone, I say write her a card and give it to her. Tell her how you feel. If things do not work out, I am sure everyone can still be friends.

If you are already with someone, I say follow the following steps.

1. Make a card this year, preferable a big card around A4 size will be appropriate
2. Stuff it behind your back into your pants
3. Conceal the card at your back with your shirt un-tucked
4. Run to her when you see her that day
5. Give her a hug in a way you never did (No groping of breasts and ass)
6. In return she will hug you back and she felt something hard at your back.
7. You whisper in her ear “I love you” and you wish her a happy valentines.
8. She would ask you what is that behind your back
9. You start to let go and face her. Drop a kiss and you pull that card out for her
10. See her smile