The Things About The Birthday

Happy Birthday Mr Virgin

Happy Birthday to Meeeee
Happy Birthday to Meeeee
Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Happy Birthday to Meeeee

I would like to take this opportunity to thanks Airboy, Angel, Aquaman, Astro Boy, Automan, Bananaman, Batman, Beast, Black Knight, Black Lightning, Blade, Cable, Captain Planet, Cyclops, Darkwing Duck, Flash, Gambit, Green Lantern, Teether, Toilet Man, Wolverine, Batgirl, Invinsible Woman, Catwoman, Black Widow, DarkStar, FireBird, HawkGirl, Princess Katrina, MockingBird, MoonStone, PoisonGirl, Spitfire, Trinity, Teletubbies, WitchBlade and lastly, Topless Girl for their dearest birthday wishes.

It was just a normal Wednesday salsa night at Urine square. I was dancing my ass off and suddenly Mr. Virgin’s girlfriend appeared from nowhere and Mr. Virgin himself caught red-handed dancing with Missy Spitfire. I was shocked that my girlfriend actually came down here with a cake to celebrate mua’s birthday with my friends. I am very very very touched and was stunned by this action which no means I made any preparations for it. I am so so pleased and so so loved. Thanks for everything.

Celebrated with something different from the norm, Aqua man initiated a Birthday Rueda Circle. Cool!

The Thing about the Birthday Dance

The issue here is not that I don’t want to have a Birthday Dance. But imagine me standing in the middle of the dance floor with million pairs of eyes staring at me. And the music starts, and no ladies stepping forward to dance with me. I will be a laughing stock of the century. In order not to be that idiot, I think it would be safer that I give that a missed. Although I did get assurance from Invisible Woman and Topless Girl, but still, I’m scared. Well maybe next year, I guess.

Be Careful of What you Send

I have a major demo on Friday morning at 9 am in the morning, so I decided to get an early rest on Thursday night after my sumptuous birthday dinner celebration with some of my very good buddies at Gyu-Ka-Ku. I woke up in the morning to find so many messages of birthday wishes flooding my mobile. So happy and so touched, me as a very nice boy as always, decided to reply to all of them. Basically from the minute I woke up, I was replying messages all the way to 9 am at my client site. I was supposed to meet my boss at 845am for breakfast.
And now, the thing. (Everything via sms)

[Princess Katrina] Hey Dude, Good Morning! Happy Birthday, Stay Handsome Always and May you Salsa Forever!

[Mr. Virgin to PK] Hey hey. I very gan dong. Thanks for the message and thanks for being my friend. Damn, I am going for a demo now. I hope I don’t mess up.

[Princess Katrina] Hey Chill it Dude, I am sure you can do it. All the best ar…

[Mr. Virgin to PK] Hey Babe, that is so sweet. BTW, you look great in that dress today. Muacks. Love you.

[BOSS] Hi, I will be late. I just got onto a cab.

[Princess Katrina] Hey did you get the right person? What dress?

[Mr. Virgin to PK] That is not a dress?? J Anyway you look great today. Love you. Muacks.

[Mr. Virgin to BOSS] Not a problem, call me when you reach.

[Princess Katrina] My dear, did you get to see me today? Haiz, its okay lar, muacks muacks.

[Mr. Virgin to PK] Well, you left me alone and stranded in my dreams. Hey, this flirting has got to stop. I am going for my demo now. Love you muacks muacks.

[Boss] What muacks muacks? Demo starts already meh?

The morale of the story is that the next time you send a message, make sure you read and confirm the recipient.

Dancing etiquette

I was resting myself at a corner after several rounds of salsa-ing. I noticed Batman dancing away happily. I observed his moves and wanted to steal some of his Cuban shit. As he was dancing away, I slowly whispered and started singing to myself.

They call me Cuban Pete
I'm the king of the Rumba beat
When I play the maracas I go
Chick chicky boom
Chick chicky boom

Yes sir, I'm Cuban Pete
I'm the craze of my native street
When I start to dance everything goes
Chick chicky boom
chick chicky boom

So if you like the beat
Take a lesson from Cuban Pete
And I'll teach you to
Chick chicky boom
Chick chicky boom
Chick chicky boom

Damn that stupid bat, make me laugh like an idiot at the corner. But still his salivating Cuban Moves are so desirable. I need to buy a ticket to New York and learn from Mr. Carrey himself.

Back to the main point, I seriously admire Batman’s etiquette when he salsa. He is one of the few that really salsa with everyone. I see him walking around trying to find as much different salseras as possible to dance with. Some even with no idea how to salsa, he could still make them get their nasty butt off their seat to try his Cuban shit. I am ashamed of myself as I have actually blacklisted a lady in my little black book. The thought of selecting my partners disgust me but please listen to my point of view before scrutinizing me from dancing again.

I hate to dance with her. I really hate it. Why, you might ask? Coz damn it hurts. It is so damn bloody painful. Furthermore, the pain is long lasting and not just till the end of the dance. I actually took a second chance. Nope, I took a fifth chance of trying to dance with her, but still she is like that. She is from School A and I have danced with millions from School A. Any way I am from School J and I know that School A produces very good students with a very nice and firm hold. But this particular student from School A is not very nice and has a very very firm and intact hold. The way she holds my hand is exactly like how I would grab my pull up bar. Every right turn that I initiate, she will practically twist my fingers. Every turn that she makes, I will give out an “Ouch”. In order to rectify that, I will have to make her do a left turn to get things back. Think about if I were to make her a double right turn or even a triple right turn. My fingers would look like twisty fries forever.

Before

After

I can never afford to make a sacrifice like that to satisfy a lady. Any ideas of what I should do?

Ah a word of wisdom from my very good friend Aqua man. When one dances, is it more important to look good or feel good?

The thing is Mr. Banana man has a severe issue with lazy feet and his very big steps. I would think it’s because of his huge banana but still, we did highlight these issues to him before but I guess it takes a while for one to change. Mockingbird starts to bitch about him on how hideous unsightly he looks. Aqua man later pointed it out that “Hey Virgin, see how happy Banana is. I guess he is probably the happiest Salsero out there.” I looked at Banana and smiled. Yes, he looks like the happiest man out there. I felt happy. I realized that regardless how one dances, it does not really matters. What matters is that you must have fun. Be happy. As the saying goes,

“If Yan can dance, so can you!”

I am Almost Virgin !

Once and for all, I will answer out loud. On my birthday, a couple of friends came up to me.

“Eh…. ah……e….u….eh…. so today your birthday ah? So I guess after tonight, you will be virgin no more lah?”

I replied on the next day.

“My name is Still a Virgin. Ho ho ho!!!!”