The Interesting and Not So Interesting About the Weekend – Part 1

The Interesting and Not So Interesting About Salsa

This is a list of events that happened to me during this weekend from Salsa. Some farnie some not in the least meant to be farnie but as a BITCHY BOY, I guess I shall blog and bitch about it.
Nowadays when people introduce friends, it’s no longer a simple gesture of “Let me introduced, this is Johnny and this is Robert”. Things seem to be a little bit more complicated now.

Encounter with Girlfriend One.

[Girlfriend One] Hey Johnny, let me introduce you to my boyfriend.
[Johnny] Boyfriend?? Ooooooooooooooooooooooo??? Do I need to be nice?
[Girlfriend One] Johnny, this is Mark. Mark, this is Johnny. Johnny dances with both guys and girls.
[Johnny]???
-- Momentary pause--
[Johnny] Yup, I do not choose my partners. It’s only courtesy. I danced with everyone, Dudes and Babes I all take.
P/S: Check out my Singlish. WooHooo…….

Encounter with Girlfriend Two.
[Girlfriend Two] Johnny, let me introduce you to a friend. Johnny this is Aisha, Aisha this is Almost Virgin.
[Johnny]???
[Johnny] Damn it, lets start again. Hi Aisha, my name is Johnny. I am Johnny by day and Almost Virgin by night. I am ALMOST virgin okay which means that I am not there yet.


I am sure everyone gets a reject from a dance now and then. I get it all the time but what I need to stress is that, please use a little common sense and spend a little bit more attentiveness if you are going to reject a dance. The scenario is as so.

I went up to Girlfriend Three to ask for a dance. She said she was with some friends and not really available now so why not the next dance. Obviously, I would gracefully accept the reject and I followed the ten commandments of Salsa as always like an attentive student. If the first one rejects you, go for the friend. So I followed with the manual and attempted with the friend next to Girlfriend Three. “Would you like to dance?” I said gentlemanly with a hand gesture extended. Girlfriend Four replied, “I am so sorry I am tired from the previous dance, how about the next one.” Talking about double shocker, I am saddened by the No-one-wants-to-dance-with-me syndrome. So, miserably I hid myself at the corner of the dance floor sulking. The next thing I noticed with the people dancing on the dance floor, Girlfriend Three and Girlfriend Four were both dancing on the dance floor.

Aiyah, Ma De!!!! I kanna reject nebermind. I get that all the time. But this is cannot tahan. These two coconene (pronounced as Cock Ke Neh Neh) dun wan to dance with me tell me stoopit reasons then now happy happy dance like tomorrow never dies on the dance floor.

Evil thoughts start to pour. Quoted by Bill “Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold” I begin to plot my revenge.

1. Simple enough, I will start by stepping on their feet on the dance floor. Before that to happen, I will need to change into my studded PUMA boots.
2. I shower curses upon them that no man will ever accept their request for a dance.
3. I will need to tamper their dancing shoes with cooking oil, thumb tacks or chewing gums.
4. I will need to dance with them and starts the weirdest conversation like how did the pig die? And then use as much saliva that I can rejuvenate and spurt it on their face.
5. Start by spreading rumors that they sleep around.
6. Start by spreading rumors that they have a third nipple.
7. Get ten friends to start pointing at them intentionally and then concurrently everyone will burst into extreme laughter.
8. Walk past them and start farting.
9. Walk past them and start vomiting.
10. Scribble on a piece of paper “Kick My Ass” and paste it on their back
    

For those who have read my revenge to men, which one do you think is cooler? For those who have not read it before, please check out the following link.

I am not saying that they have no rights to reject my dance but what I am trying to show is that you would have to do it in a more subtle manner. If you were to reject the dance, fine, go ahead and reject it but please wait for the next song to start before dancing with another man.

When Irony speaks for itself, please refer to the following pictures. Although I have committed the same scene before I shall not urge thou to do it again. That would be because you will be occupying my space.



But anyway, it was a quite disappointing Saturday night as I had intention to organize an outing to Movida at St James Power House. But due to a dull response with only a few interested cats and dogs, the event was terminated and shifted back to the good old Union Square. I blame it on my incompetence to organize group events and also the weakness in my psyching skills.

I was discussing with Jeremy on the structure of Union Square and it seems that there is quite a clear cut boundary with the clicks and the cults in the Salsa community.

Noticed the main three blocks highlighted in red bolds, those are the legalized dancing areas. For areas that are not legalized, that would be everywhere. Every single space that you could find can be used as your dance floor. I belong to the pink section. This is the proposed itinerary from me to get the most out of a union night.

1. Proceed to main seating area to change into the dancing shoes, look at the mirror on either side and make sure you look good.
2. Walk past the professional area to see if any of your friends have been promoted and remember to say hi.
3. Walk past the Semi Pros to see if any of your friends have been demoted and say hi. If you dun remember, its okay.
4. Walk towards the bar and order a drink. Say hi to bartenders and milk maids. Proceed to Tables or Pool tables to chill and talk cock.
5. Proceed to Sub Dance floor (pink) for a warm up. Mingle around and get to know some new faces. They could be the next big star. Proceed back to the bar and get another drink.
6. Proceed to Semi Pro (dark green) and heat it up a little bit. Start by doing single turns and communicate more with your partner.
7. Proceed to Rueda Corner (yellow) and do the casino. Proceed to bar counter for another drink.
8. Head back to Sub Dance floor (pink) and practice those moves that you just can’t get it right in class. Play a round of pool. Proceed to bar counter for yet another drink.
9. Check out the ladies on the tables section to see if anyone is eager for a dance. Find a partner and proceed to Semi Pro (dark green) section. By now you should be fully geared. Start doing double turns and talk less.
10. Head to Professional (Light green) section and mingle a little. Dance with a few pros to make sure you have been doing okay.
11. Head to the bar. Get a drink.
12. Go back to Semi Pro and waste a few girls.
13. Go to Rueda Corner and waste a few girls.
14. Head to the bar. Get a drink.
15. Go to Sub Dance Floor. Salsa around like a crazy elephant.
16. Head to the bar. Get a drink.
17. Go back to Semi Pro and waste a few girls.
18. Head to the bar. Get a drink.
19. Play pool.
20. Head to the bar. Get a drink.
21. Remain at the bar. Get a drink.
22. Remain at the bar. Get a drink.
23. Remain the bra. Get a sink.
24. Remove the bra. Get a freak.
25. Reisk the bra. Get sick.
26. Rsjdf tsjd bha. G asds stick
27. skejfhslkjdfhklasjdhfsjkdfh
    

You will probably land up on top of the pool table, drunk and wasted. Well it’s just another night at Union Square.