Thursday, September 28, 2006

 

我可爱的侄儿


This is my nephew and he is so so very cute that I would like to share some of his jokes with you guys. Although I know my sis is definitely going to kill me when she read this but whatever. Anyway his name is Javen and he is 5 years old. So lets get the story started.......



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侄儿笑话篇 一

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[Scenario] My brother is watching soccer with my nephew and Arsenal Van Persie miss fired and the soccer ball just whizz past the goal post.

[Brother]Fuck lah!!
[[Javen]]舅舅, 什么是Fuck lah????
[Brother]*Shock* 你说什么????
[[Javen]]我说 ..... 什么是Fuck lah????
**************** Pause *****************
[Brother]没有, 我是说放啊!!!
[[Javen]]你是说放球是吗????
[Brother]对对对!!!! 就是要 Arsenal 放球嘛!!!
[[Javen]]喔!!! 我明白了... 放啊!!!! 放啊!!!!!

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侄儿笑话篇 二

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[Scenario] My friend was talking to me on the phone

[小豪]Hey Johnny, 我好闷喔!!!!!
[小福]Hey 小豪,干嘛这么闷啊?????
[小豪]那也没什么, 我女朋友硬吵着要我陪她逛街, 好无聊哦!!! 不如我们出来打牌还是打屁什么的好不好????
[小福]妈的!!!! 你闷的时候才会想要打给我.. 可是.... 好,我等一下我打给你, 我们出来打屁.
[小豪]See you later!!
[Javen]妈的!!!!
[小福]*Shock* 你说什么????
[[Javen]]舅舅, 你刚才不是说<<妈的>>咯!!!!
**************** Pause *****************
[小福]没有, 那是Janet姐姐的妈妈, 所以我就叫她"Mother", 明白吗????
[[Javen]] 可是你都还未結婚, 为什么随随便便叫人家"Mother"?????
[小福]对对对, 是我搞错了. 下一次我会记得叫她"Auntie"好不好????
[[Javen]] 这样才对嘛!!!!
[小福]**妈的, 现在的小孩真难搞!@#$%^&*()!!!!!**

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

 

Many Very GOOD Dances

It has been a while since I told myself.... "Johnny that was a very good salsa night!!"
Yes yes a wonderful night it had been. I totally enjoyed all my dances be it fast or slow. It all had been a great dance. I am not a Salsa Genie who possess a million moves in his pocket but rather I am jus a regular dancer who has like ...... wait ..... let me count ..... 1 ....2 ....3 .... okay 24 moves in my underwear.

I had a dance with daphne which I personally totally enjoyed. Arigato daphne who has been so encouraging through out the times when I had been so sad and disgusted with myself. I will make sure she has fun whenever she dances with me!!

I DANCED WITH SALSA SLUT. (Not too sure whether she would allow me to disclose her real name but anyway ambiguous will be jus fine I guess?) I had my first salsa dance with Rachel (name totally imaginary and if by concidence it matches, it really really is coincidence.) I held my breath when i waddled up to her. Like a stranger which I truly am, confidently stood next to her. I yelled "SALSA SLUT"!!! She look so blown back and astonished and said "JOHNNY!!!". *Happy*. "I will dance with you later okay!!" *Sad*. But its all good, not a problem... I waited till she was available and yes I thought to myself its time now... and this is how it all started. To many of you out there, you might be wondering whats the big fuss over Rachel. And I will tell you why. Check this out. A comment she made on her blog.


I am not trying to prove anything but I just wan to show myself I am not that bad a dancer or a lover .
But anyway I enjoyed my dance with Rachel. And after the dance she said nice.... wait wait ..... she said very nice!!
Yippee Ai Ai Yippee Yippee Ai
Yippee Ai Ai Yippee Yippee Ai
Yippee Ai Ai Yippee Yippee Ai Ai
Yippee Yippee Ai Ai
Yippee Yippee Ai
Whoopee!!!

So next level to conquer... Would anyone dance this with me !!!???







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For a good laugh please check this out. Its so damn farnie that the urge to tear is unbearable. But I am so sorry it is in chinese.






Monday, September 25, 2006

 

Bintan Birthday Party

I know this is late but its the though that counts right?
Happy Birthday JiaTanG!!!
Hope you every day young young okay!!!!


Friday, September 22, 2006

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GWEN



HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED ANGEL!!!!

Not a very exciting saturday morning to begin with. Drove my hunnn to Four Seasons Hotel in the morning. And you know, girls when they are bored, they will start taking pictures of themselves to see whether they look good that day.


[Janet] How do I look!!
[Johnny] Absolutely Gorgeous!!


[Janet] How do I look now?!
[Johnny] Absolutely Gorgeous too!!
[Janet] Which one is better???
[Johnny] They are both as good you bimbo!!! They are taken from the same person!!!


Food will never cease to entice my life. They look so tasty and delicious that any plans for dieting will definitely lose out.





Some Cam Whoring Pictures During Dinner!!!







Next Stop!!! Loof!!! We gathered together on this faithful night to celebrate the 23rd birth of our angel, our goddess, our princess GWEN. Wishing her a very happy birthday and may all her wishes come true.







You know what girls like to do best??? They simply enjoy the fact that they can make their boyfriends or husbands look extremely stupid and crazy. They simply adore it. Guys here is a tip for you. Pretend to be dumb so that your girl would look extremely intelligent although the fact is that we are the more intelligent species.

 

One BAD Dance

I had a really bad dance last night. This was how it happened.

I met this lady, absolute beauty when she dances salsa and furthermore, she basically looks gorgeous off the dancefloor too. She is like Beckham on the dance floor. So smooth and pretty. I wanted so badly to have a dance with her. Someone at the back of my mind kept saying. "No Johnny, you are not up to standard. Please dun go and embarrass yourself!!!" Therefore I just sat there and looked, admiring the beauty of the dance. Shortly, she camed up and asked me for a dance. My wildest dream happened. Oohhhhhhhhhh SCORE!!!

So I picked myself up and prepared for the dance. But damn, I messed up. I totally screwed it. My beat was out. Body movement so rigid and I kept dropping my grip!!! And the worse shit, I almost head-butted her!!! DAMN!!! What is the possibility that in a song, the guy and the lady would do a body roll at the same time!!! I need to stress that I ALMOST Head-butted her means that I did not head-butt her you shithead!!

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. I do not consider myself as an expert but neither do I consider myself as a loser. I have been learning salsa for a couple of months now and I belief that I should be of a certain standard by now but all my practices all my hard work down the drain at the moment that my head went for hers. This is so humiliating and disappointing.

I will need to practice harder and I make it a point to everyone reading my blog, the next time if I ever had a chance to dance with her again...........













I promise not to head-butt her again!!!!



I have with me 2 articles from SalsaSlut which is so damn farnie that I really need to share with all my salsa friends!!

Dirty Jokes

How To Pick Up Girls In Salsa Scene

Salsa Slut is probably the only female blogger that I have read which is so farnie. Tears were dropping at the time when I read her blog. The rest of the female bloggers are sweet and nice. Some are aggressive and vain [XX's blog]. Please read Salsa Slut's blog to have a good laugh guys.

Salsa Slut: May I have a dance with you??

Thursday, September 21, 2006

 

七节连环拍

知不知道七节连环拍是什么?????
让我来告诉您 !!!!!!!!!!!!






















Tuesday, September 19, 2006

 

TRIP TO DUBAI

 

Union on Saturday 16092006

Salsa at Union Square on Saturdays would not have been fun if not for the following .............................................................
















Of course that is not the main reason that i frequent saturdays.
The following is



Sorry sweetie, they made me do IT!!!!






Thursday, September 14, 2006

 

Damn!!! Are guys shaving the right way???

Steps
1. Prepare! Have a hot shower before you shave. Wash your face with an exfoliant facial wash. The heat and moisture will help to soften your beard and lift up the hairs, as well as open your pores. Have your shave kit ready for when you get out of the shower so you can start right away before your beard has a chance to dry.

2. Apply your choice of shaving cream with a shaving brush. The brush will further help to soften your beard and exfoliate your skin. There are many shave creams on the market; choose one that you like that's right for your skin type. The important thing is to provide lubrication for the razor.

3. Pick the right blade. A safety razor that uses a double edged razor blade will provide a closer and easier shave than any disposable razor on the market for a fraction of the cost. Not only are safety razors with double edged blades cheaper, they last longer, and produce far less waste.

4. Start with one side of your face and work steadily towards the other side, doing small sections at a time. This way you won't miss anything.

5. Use short, light, downward strokes to remove the bulk of the hair.

6. Use your free hand to pull your skin tight.

7. Rinse the blade often to keep it from clogging.

8. The blade of the safety razor should meet your skin at ~45 degrees or less. Nicks and cuts happen when the blade is held at too large of an angle against your skin. It should glide over your skin and you shouldn't be able to feel it.

9. After you've shaved your whole face in a downward direction, rinse your face in warm water, re-apply more shaving cream, and start again going in an upward direction to remove the remaining stubble.

10. Finally, run your fingers over your face to find any rough areas you may have missed. Gently pass the blade over the area in a different direction. Hairs on your neck and jawline generally do not grow straight up or down, but in many different directions that simple up and down motions can miss.

11. Rinse your face in cool water and pat dry with a clean towel.

12. Apply a non-alcohol shaving balm. Aloe and tea tree oil can help prevent dry skin and razor burn.

13. Watch as the ladies flock to your cleanly shaven jaw line.

Tips
• Rinse the blade in cold water to keep the metal tight. This will give a smoother shave than if you rinse with hot water.

• You can make your own moisturizing aftershave cream that will help prevent dry skin and razor burn. Simply get some aloe gel that contains vitamin E and some concentrated tea tree oil. Simply mix a few drops of the tea tree oil into the gel and apply to your face after your shave. If you want a scent, you can add a few drops of a commercial aftershave product.

• Wash your face at least twice a day with an exfoliating cleaner and use a non-oily moisturizing cream afterwards. You can use the same aloe/tea tree mixture listed above as a daily moisturizer.

• Shave often. Once every couple days to keep your hairs from thickening and estabishing. The more consistantly you shave, the better the quality of your shaves will be, and the better your complexion: Shaving removes dead skin and keeps pores from clogging.

• Rinse and dry your equipement thoroughly, and store in a dry place.

• For an extra thick beard you can use a hot face cloth compress to soften it in addition to a hot shower prior to shaving. Change blades as necessary, as they will dull much quicker than with a thin beard.

• If you have an adjustable safety razor, use a higher setting at the start of your shave when removing the bulk of the hair. Lower the blade for the upward pass to minimize the blade catching your skin.

Warnings
• Don't rush. Take your time and do it right. Your face will thank you.

• Don't forget to change your blades when dull. A dull blade will leave your face feeling raw and sore, and is much more likely to cause razor burn.

• Avoid soap-based shave creams and alcohol-based aftershaves. They will over-dry your skin.

Things You'll Need
• A good safety razor.
• A shaving brush.
• A good moisturizing shaving cream.
• A non-alcohol based aftershave balm/moisturizer.
• A well-lit bathroom mirror.
• A clean towel and face cloth.
• Plenty of fresh blades.
• An exfoliating face wash.

Monday, September 11, 2006

 

Daphne Says I Should Post More Pictures. So This Is For You!!!

Life would have been so tasteless without certain friends of mine. Two very important people in my salsa life that had made me enjoy every single moment and I would like to take this opportunity to introduce them to you. Sorry girls, both nice guys have been quite pursued after and currently this plane had departed. So please wait till the next ride.



On your left, Zhiguang. An incredible guy. I have never met anyone in my life as nice as him. A serious warning to everyone out there. No one bullies him okay!!! Or suffer the wrath of my kiss!!! In the middle is Jianping. Nothing worth talking about. We will let the pictures do the talking.



Isn't he cute. Not bad huh!!!



What the hell was he trying to do?? He must be thinking that if he stared hard enough, the bottle would pop!!!



Poser!!!! Basically we had nothing to do after our dinner at chinatown porridge, so we decided to entertain ourselves.



They made me do it. Thinking it would look very 50's and cool. The aftermath not as desired.


Mr Kungfu!! Tiger and Flamingo Stance!!!



Uploading just for fun. Nothing much to write about.



My favourite picture. Hey JP, can you handle the situation with better planning??