What is Confidence?

Generally speaking, what is confidence?

“Confidence is a trust or faith that a person or thing is capable”
-- Wikipedia

Madam Simpopo posed me that question that day and I replied in jest.

“Confidence is an aura that you display to others whom others will perceive. You are only confident only when others think you are. If one thinks that him/herself is confident, my take on that is a negative take as self confidence to me is a flaw.”

“You can dance so well, I really think you are confident.” Madam Simpopo alleged with a smile and I can see her stunning teeth so white I think it can glow in the dark.

“Really? Let me make a point here. Everyone can look confident with the correct amount of spice and accessories. Looking good may make one confident. Smelling good may make one confident. Many would take it down to years of experience that they have shed on the dance floor as a form of confidence but the cold hard truth of confidence lies in everyone. Regardless a newbie who cannot dance for shit or any old bird standing right in front of you can be very confident. All they need is that X-factor.”

“Would you care to explain further into that X-factor if it is worth mentioning?”

Pointing to a lady hiding in the corner of the dance floor strapped in a pink plain T-shirt with denim jeans, I asked.

“Do you think she is confident?”

Simpopo eyed her for a while and replied, “She does not seem to dance very well, so my take would be that she is not very confident.”

I listed out another lady on the dance floor dressed in a Manchester United Jersey accessorized with a golfer’s cap.

“Do you think she is confident?”

“Of course she is good; her name is XXXX, a performer from XXXX!!!”

Choking on my own saliva, I smiled and responded. “I have danced with both of them before and the feel and the style portrayed by both is very different. The one by the pink lady is comfortable and smooth. Furthermore, her styling is appropriate and she displays a more relaxed feel for the partner. For the Man-U fan, she dances pretty well but the fact is I feel that she is over doing it most of the time and her rhythmic beat is not as strong but yes a great performer in terms of her endless shimmy. My vote would also be that the Man-U fan is more confident.”

“Now I am a bit confused, so your point would be?” Madam Simpopo questioned, looking puzzled and stone.

Pointing yet to another dancer on the dance floor, “My point is simple. That lady dancing there may not be the best dancer on the floor but she may be the most confident one there is. She appears to be confident because we proclaim her to be. There are millions of performers from various schools out there and people may think they are the best dancer there is to be, and they in turn become confident. Many have missed out the humble yet silent dancers that lurks in the dark who does not rise among the evil who apparently are very good dancers and WE think they are not confident cause they are not as popular as the others.”

I took a sip on my margarita and I continued after clearing my throat. “When I started dancing, I was clad in T-shirt and jeans, after sometime, I shed the norm away and I begin to paste ‘Adidas’ stickers on my slacks and tees. Some time after that, I slid into my singlet and now I am choosing from the brightest clothes I could ever lay my hands on in a store. People yearn for attention as people will perceive you as confident. So many times ladies come in the smallest tee and shortest denim skirts man has ever tailored to the dance floor. Spaghetti stripes singlet hung by the neck is so common nowadays, not to mention the bare backs and the tube tops. When the dancers come in these garnishes, people would tend to focus on them and slowly these frills becomes the reason WE think they are confident.”

Pondering, Madam Simpopo looked at herself who was wearing a sexy laced, low cut spaghettis, and said, “Well, I don’t remember myself started dancing in these clothes too. So are you saying that the less you dress, the more confident you will be?”

“Maybe? Although this theory definitely does not apply to the gentleman sitting at that corner.” Pointing to that fat bastard dressed in a tight white singlet sipping his beer while scratching his belly.

“What that is worth mentioning is this, as one believes he/she is getting better, he/she will start to dress differently. They themselves start to think that they are at a certain level better than the others and they need to distinguish themselves among the rest. This is the norm and there is no way we could do to change this fact. The basis that I have known some really good dancers who are humble and not a potential show off puts these confident dressers to shame. Too much styling in a dance makes it ugly and too little makes it not impressive. Being able to display the right amount of styles and character would then make the dance nice and memorable. You may dress like a hottie; in a bikini or even in a rabbit suit, but the point that you are displaying that you are a slut. Nothing more than that! I am still waiting for the day when someone walks over to her and say ‘You may be pretty, but I do not enjoy dancing with you!’, since I am cowardly engraved to not have the capability to do that, I can only hope and pray for a good show to happen.”


Humility is a Virtue!


I am still learning......