F-L-I-N-G

Calling to all boys and girls, we will discuss on the noun “fling” today.

“A short period of unrestrained pursuit of one's wishes or desires”
-- Dictionary.com

“Short, often sexual relationship”
-- Wikipedia

Known to all men and women, there must be someone around us who is always on a look out for a fling. It could be your brother, your sister, your best friend or even your boy/girl friend who is out hunting for a fling.


You can actually describe a fling as an ornament of a successful hunting.

“Check out my fling!” The deer hunter said to his friend while holding his prized possession of the deer’s head, high up in the air with a gleeful smile flashing across his face.


Flings apply for men or women looking for short pleasure.

A man has just emptied his bowel after enduring a long four hour of fluids comprising of beer, coke and miscellaneous drinks. He completes his pee and flicks his little manhood. He gave a shiver and lets out a satisfied “Ahhhhhhhhhhh”. “This is a good fling” he said. It was short. It was pleasurable and he totally enjoyed it.


The golden phrase needs to be questioned.

“Why do men or women look for a fling?”

Is it because……

1. You are bored of your boy/girlfriend or wife/husband. You need to look for a fresh feed.
2. You are single and you are afraid of commitments and you are in need of a short sexual pleasure.
3. You are gay/lesbian.
4. The peers are adding pressure and you feel left out as you do not have any trophies under your name.
5. You just want to be listed in the Guinness Record for holding the record for the most number of flings dated.
   

Adam and Eve were a lovely couple till the apple came to realize. Was it this form of distraction that people are lured into?

Everyday, we are looking out for new things, new faces, and new stories. Life becomes stagnant to a certain point where everything remains just like that. Water ripples will also one day remains stagnant. There will also be a day where two parallel lines meet. It is normal for men to yearn for excitement and other exhilaration that may or may not happen. All one could do is to sit and wait.

What can we do to expedite this reaction?

Flings are short as quoted by references. Short relationship should also have the rights to own a perfect ending. It may not be everlasting but at least it should be unforgettable.

There are certain rules of the game that one as a “Flinger” has to follow.

Do not eat at the place you shit.

You are a teacher. You do not fling with your students. This is morally incorrect. I heard a story over the radio today and I would love to share.

A 70 year old man violated one of his students for five consecutive years and the poor little girl is only to date 12 years old. The old fucker was revealed to the public of his immoral sins recently and he was brought to court. The jury’s decision was to give him life imprisonment and listen to what he has to say.

“I know I am in the wrong. I admit to the crimes I have made. The fact that I have confessed to all my crimes should make me less punishable. Given that I am already 70 years old, a life imprisonment would mean that I would have to die in jail. Furthermore, I am, by profession, a researcher who is currently involved in a discovery for the benefit of all men. Jailing me now would mean killing the welfare for men. I propose to the jury to remove the jail imprisonment and convert the punishment to house imprisonment so that I can live and die in my own house and I could still proceed with my research.”
-- Capital 95.8

Hell yeah, fat hope I would think. You have to be punished for the crime that you make regardless of age. It is your own desert to die in jail and I wished you get assed in the (_*_) for all it matters. I am sure no men alive would mind giving up your so proclaimed “research” for you to go to jail.

Eating at the place you shit only makes things smelly and disgusting. The flings although are easier to get since you meet them most of the time or even all the time. But you need to take care of the aftermath. You still meet your fling all the time after the romance was extinguished. Common friends and outsiders tag you as a “flinger”. There is no possible route for other flings from then on.

Identifying who are the fling-able people

It’s not that easy to distinguish the fling-able people and not fling-able people around you. Things gets a bit messy if no proper handling is involved. Generally speaking, assuming one party is interested. It is more favorable for the ladies to initiate.

A simple phrase “Bring me home tonight”

Assuming it was the guy who initiated.
Interested Girl: Sure, but I am staying with my parents, how about yours.
Not-interested Girl: *Piak* (Tight Slap across Face)

Assuming it was the girl who initiated.
Interested Guy: Sure, let’s go now.
Not-interested Guy: Now? You mean now? Okay.

To risk getting a slap across the face is definitely not worth it. To be on the safe side, I propose that the most appropriate flings should be the ones who are currently in a relationship or those who are married.

Assuming you had a fling with an unattached woman. The next day she asked you the MVQ “Most Valuable Question”.

“What do you take me for?”

Assuming if it was an attached woman, this scenario would not happen.

Base on this theory, single woman out there, I am telling you, you are safe. No men would fling with you. If you want a fling, get yourself a man.

* Disclaimer: Please note that no intended parties are to be named in this blog post. Stories and remarks included are fictional and all part of the imagination. If so coincidentally something similar happen to you, you cannot sue me as I already made this section of disclaimer. bleh!