Call me Ignorant, but did you know?

Crappy Pick up Methods at Union square

Recently, there is an uprising of street pickups happening at Union Square. I have been hanging out at US for a year now and it seems that only recently, desperate horny man has decided to shift their attention from clubs like MOS, MoMo or even Zouk to our little Salsa community to steal our women. It seems that Salsa is getting popular on the little dot on the map. I assure the salseros around me, there is no fear. These men use the lamest and stupidest ways and methods to pick up a girl. Let’s take a few examples from the friends around me.

On October 14, Saturday, a guy approached Mockingbird. Claiming that he was a Salsa Instructor in Philippines and wanted Mockingbird to be his partner because Mocking dances very beautifully and she is tall and suitable for him. Duhhhhhhh!

Lame!!! Fail. I can always declare myself as a Salsa Instructor from the country of Honolulu!! Please use a better excuse to trick Singapore woman out of the country to kill them you bastards.

On December 16, Saturday, a loser approached Missy Chatsalot. He said he has two angels with him on his table and wants Chatsalot to be his third angel. Duhhhhhhh!

Corny!!! Fail. Angels are so old school kind of pick up line. Since you have two, why do you need a third? Unsatisfiable jerk!

On December 21, Thursday, a creepy old man approached Xiao-Xiao-Gong-Zhu and said that his friend would like to know her.

Stupid!!! Fail. Let’s talk about the creepy old man. Firstly, he is old and he is creepy. Secondly, do not smoke while picking up a lady. Now let’s talk about the friend. If you want to pick up a girl, do it yourself. Absolute no confidence if you ask someone else to do it for you. Why not ask your friend to satisfy your wife? Loser!


Do you want to know the nice and right way to pick up a girl? Read on…..

Erotic dance

I have a very good friend learning erotic dance. She is a very nice and simple girl. She is friendly, thoughtful, very helpful and very sensitive. And yes, you owe me 5 dollars for this publicity.

And back to the Erotic Dance. It is not Exotic Dance. I would classify Exotic dance like belly dancing, lap dancing or even pole dancing. Let me illustrate the meaning of Erotic Dance Class.

The classes are strictly for ladies. All students are supposed to dress down to only bras and panties. Instructors to dress down to only panties and star-shaped stickers on the nippies. Picture that, my friend.

During class, the instructors taught their students the proper way to suck and lick a lollipop to entice a man. They taught them how to move their body, how to show their assets, their ass, their ***** in front of their toy mate. The ladies would pair up and take turns sitting on a chair being the man. I hope Santa could make my Christmas wish come true this year.

Mr. BBB is seeing someone

Did you know? Mr. Bare Butt Boy is seeing someone? I always find happiness seeing my dear friends falling in love. The smile when one is in love radiates happiness in a different way. His small eyes and cute little dimples, accompanied by the smile, warm my heart. A small little peck on his cheek by Missy BBB tinkles all the senses on me while I just stood there watching them dance. I asked him after his dance. “Eh… someone is in love.” He shyly replied “Ya lor, we are seeing each other lar.” From his stutters, I can see the comparison between his shy inner self as compared to his loud and bold dancing moves. Scandalous!

Strong Competitors at Salsa Comp

I heard from reliable sources on who are the rest of my competitors for this Salsa Competition on the 31st December. Apparently, there is this very cute guy by the name of Mr. CuteGuy. I am worried that he might score on presentation, showmanship, versatility, and dressing because he is just so damn cute.

I have decided to wear a mask for the competition. Something like what the phantom will wear.

The Bodyline of Katrina and TG

Recently, I happened to hit upon the chance to see Princess Katrina and Topless Girl’s bodyline. And boy, would people be envious of me. I can proudly say that Princess Katrina has a better figure compared to Topless Girl. Scandalous!

The people that I miss at Union

Does anyone miss the old man who is always wearing a red shirt? He always prefers to dance with beginners. Then he will throw them around on the dance floor.

I miss the skinny artist with golfer’s cap together with his China looking salsa partner. Apparently they can dance very well. The last rumor I heard was that he was caught in the female toilet red handed and in his defense, he said that he wanted to get inspiration for his new drawing. His piece of art was sold at 20 thousand dollars. So I heard.

What happened to the Crazy Shine Girl? Can anyone remember this lady who is always alone and she will start to do her own shine in the middle of the dance floor by herself?

I remembered when I started learning Salsa 14 months ago, there were an influx of Japanese ladies around. There were Akiko, Ayako, Maiko, Mayako, Keiko, Tomato. But now where are the Japanese Ladies at Union Square?

The way to win a ladies heart by Mr. J

I have a friend by the name of Mr. J. His actual name is Mr. Jose Mohose. Or simply you can call him “Ho Say Bo Ho Say”. True incidents quoted with examples to attract and win a women’s heart. Something really basic, start with the following.

On days when the lady is feeling cold, tired or sick, play music that the partner likes. Even though you hate them so much, you still have to do it. For example, Princess Katrina was having gastric; Jose Mohose would play Princess Katrina’s favorite salsa music so that she can have a good rest in the car on the way home. Jose knows the actual track, the actual version and the actual volume of the song that she likes. Eh? Killer moves on the ladies. He scores. Scandalous!

Something different, one can try while trying to attract ladies, would be this.

On a faithful day, Mr. Jose Mohose was the caller for the Rueda Circle. Being in a happy mood as Princess Katrina was there too, he wanted to highlight his ability to become a song bird. His calls were firm and clear, I would say very audible. And so everyone had a happy Rueda dance. At the end of the dance, a lady walks up and said this to him. “Your calls were very loud just now. May I dance with you?”

And now Mr. Virgin is jealous. So many often Mr. Virgin would call the commands in a Rueda Circle, but no one ask him to dance because of that. I think he needs to raise his voice louder.

But finally, I would like to wish everyone a

Happy Chinese Winter Solstice Festival!