I Am A Happy Boy

I am very stressed up and feeling depressed.

I am going to announce to the whole world shamelessly that I am going to participate in a salsa competition. I know, I understand. Who am I to think that I have that capability to do so? I am shouting this out loud to everyone that I am doing this for the experience and for the exposure and furthermore, I have friends who believe in me. I think everyone must take one big step once in their lifetime before they could step out the next one. I have no intentions to pit my strength against the veterans out there but I would like to show to everyone that I could also put up a good show. Who knows I might even get the prize money (ho ho ho). I publicly declare that I will donate all the prize money (assuming that I get any) to the “Help the Virgins” organization.

I am still very stressed up and I feel like shit.

Apparently I am pairing with Topless Girl for the contest. The problem that I am facing is that quite a number of people would like to pair up with Topless Girl too. But because I made the initiative to ask her first, so she ends up with me. But to me, that is absolutely wrong. I do not want her to have the obligation that she has to partner up with me just because I asked her first. I want her to partner up with me because she wants to partner up with me. See the difference and I deem this difference as the most important. Apparently there is the Salsa Jedi and Salsa Guru are among the list of candidates who would like to pair up with Topless Girl. Magneto aka Salsa Jedi won tons of awards for hip hop actions and Bare Butt Boy aka Salsa Guru is like the Salsa Prince of Union. It makes me wonder if I were Topless Girl who would I choose? Would she choose Dr M, B.B.B or Almost Virgin? My confidence level is not very high. Apparently, my confidence level has struck rock bottom. After consulting some of my best super friends like Batman and Aqua man, I have decided to write her an email to end the whole thing.

The Email

“Hey girl I decided to write you a letter. Believe me this letter is typed in a very fast manner as I believe that doing it fast and straight forward would be the best way to convey my direct thoughts.

Something I think you should know is that I am under quite a substantial amount of stress from this Salsa competition. The stress that I am receiving is not from the dance moves, the tight time schedule and neither from the choreo that we are trying so hard to do. Nevertheless it has nothing to do with your weight.

Apparently I felt that you are a very good dancer with extreme potential. The pressure is that there are so many good dancers out there that want you to be their partner and I am just an average guy holding on to the treasure. The pressure of me disappointing you keeps lingering in my mind every single minute. I mean there are people watching, assuming I messed up and people would say that they could have done something more special with you than what I did. I mean I really would like to put up a good show for everyone including myself but I cannot take it if my partner feels disappointed or the 'we-could-have-done-better' kindda thing in the end.

The problem with me I guess is that I lack the confidence. Basically my primary motive is that I really would like to go for the exposure and I believe that taking this big step can bring me to the next level. But it seems that you are more desirable to the more professionals or the so called experts.

So basically what I want to say is that if given a choice to bring this back time and let you choose again, to choose the partner you deem the most appropriate, I am giving you a second chance. Please do something to make yourself happy. I guess I am throwing these words like what you said to me that day. The importance of the dance is to have fun and be happy. So assuming if you deem me inappropriate, please please please please please please feel free to voice it out. If you can be happy with another partner, I will be happy for you. Please note that I am still not giving up. The choice is yours and I am just one of the candidates but I think I should at least let you know how I feel. I promise to put in more effort okay and I would like you to know I really enjoy every single dance with you.

Please understand that it took me quite a number of bitching sessions with my close salsa friends before I wrote this and the unison conclusion is that as your dancing partner, the minimum I should do to make myself more comfortable is to let you know about this. So hope to hear from you.”

I am less stressed up but more anxiety is building.

I click on the "send" button with no regrets. I told myself that what I just did was for the better. It will be better for the both of us. I told myself that if suppose that Topless Girl were to choose someone else I would not join the competition no more. Not due to the reason that time is short and I could not find a more compatible partner, but because of the rejection that will hit me hard and I would not be able to perform with someone else.

I waited in anxiety for the answer. The phone rang.

I am nervous.

“You silly goat. I still want you as my partner. You are the person that I feel most comfortable with. There is chemistry between us……………………but only on the dance floor.”

– Topless Girl

I am happy.

I want to thank a lot of people who has been very encouraging and supportive, and most importantly, believed in me. I would like to express special thanks to Batman, Hamster Girl, Aqua man and Firefly. Without your encouraging words, I believe that I would not be where I am, right here, right now.

I woke up this morning smiling.