Wednesday, May 23, 2007

 

I Would Do Anything

Nancy was walking alone all by herself. She was definitely not in the best of mood as she sees the forlorn couples strolling together, holding hands along the river side. The smooching and cuddling of others irritates her to the max.

Nancy was sad. Nancy was very sad. She just got ditched by Leonardo.

Crap” she yelled. Her voice frightened the lovebird walking pass her who scuffled away quickly as if a mad man was released.

Leonardo just dumped her using some crap excuse that he wasn’t ready to be committed. Nancy knew it was just some lame excuse for him to go ahead and hump some other women. Nancy was furious but yet alone.

She had a friend named Justin and she suddenly recall this special place Justin once mentioned to her. She remembered that Justin did say that it was a special place that would leave you with a unique memory that you will never forget.

Her excited feet brought her to a little pub across the street, next to the alley of rats, with a broken sign board. She went in and sat down. She ordered a beer and started looking around.

Nothing much in peculiar except for tons and tons of beautiful women around. To start of with, Nancy was already feeling down. The fact that she knows her inperfection as a woman, the lustful ladies around her made her feel so shadowy and so minute. Nancy sipped on her beer glass and suddenly, a huge commotion rang at the entrance.

A young man walked in. All the women went crazy. He was in a MJ hat, walking down the stairs and giving flying kisses to all the women around. All the ladies were circling around this prey like a vulture to a dead animal. Nancy could feel the strong immense pressure evolving from the presence of this young man.

Nancy was curious but yet, too secluded away to catch a full glimpse of this mango pudding. All she can see was the words on his T-shirt. It states “Almost Virgin”.

Nancy continued to sip on her beer glass, unintentionally thinking about her Leonardo. They did spent some sweet moments together before. They did have their share of satisfaction, lust and sex.

Suddenly, she can feel this pressure slowly creeping up her back. Step by step, she can feel it. It's coming closer and closer. She turned around and there stands the handsome charming young man standing right next to her.

“Hi, my name is Virgin and could I buy you a drink?”, he said, in the sexiest voice that would outshine the voices of an angel.

Nancy, taken by surprise, was speechless. Out of the millions of beautiful women around, why did he has to come and buy me a drink? Her curiousity led her to reply in her most appealing voice she could imagine.

“Of course, it would be my pleasure. Thank you very much.”

“No, no, no. The honour is mine. It is my pleasure to buy a drink for such a beautiful lady like you. Hey John, can you top it up here.”, as Virgin pointed to the bartender.

Nancy responded quickly to start a conversation. “It seems that someone is considered quite a big shot around here. See all the commotion around at the entrance upon arrival.”

“You got to be kidding. This man is nothing great compared to all the women here. They are the fantastic ones. And I mean including you.”

Nancy blushed and all she could do was to hold up her beer and begin to take another sip.

“So why are you here alone on this lovely evening?” Virgin enquired.

Nancy pondered and respnded “To get a chance to meet someone special?”

“How special is this someone suppose to be in order to captivate this fallen angel from heaven?”

“Well, this is something for me to know and for you to explore” Nancy giggled.

With his fingers to her chin, Virgin tilted Nancy’s face towards his. He advanced slowly towards her face and moved towards the ear. He whispered. “For you my dear, I am willing to do anything.” He planted a smooch on her ears which made Nancy blushed almost instantly.

He trailed her from her ears back to the side of her lips before commenting again. “For twenty dollars, I’m yours the whole night and I will fulfill you of your greatest fantasy.”

Nancy got excited and knew instantly what would come after next. Her need for a man triggered by the incident of her previous boyfriend drive her to accept the idea of a toy boy. She smiled and said “Will you really do anything?”

“Anything to satisfy you” Virgin smiled and planted yet another kiss on her cheek.

Nancy reached for her handbag and took out two ten dollar bill.

“This is for you my dear and I want you tonight. You will do anything for me right?”

“Anything, as long as you can name it.”

“Okay here goes. I need you to clean my dishes, walk my dog. Hang the laundry and clean the toilet. Preferably if you could rearrange my storeroom as it is getting quite messy nowadays, that would be excellent. If time allows maybe you could mop my living room and try to fix that TV that doesn’t seem to work. After that you could vacuum my car, clean the seats and finish with a nice polish to make my Volks a beautiful girl.”

As she raised her eyes to meet his, he was no longer there.

They never see each other again.



Author
Almost Virgin

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey hot-shot!...
seems like someone got damn lots of ego ah.. hahaha...

anyway.. read that similar joke elsewhere before.. except of course different setting... it goes something like this..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A plane was flying from New York to Europe when one of the engine fails. The pilots tried to control the plane but at the same time, the other engine failed. As the plane nose-dived into the ocean, the most beautiful air-stewardess onboard came knocking on the pilot's cabin and gained entry. The sweet young thing was only dressed in her mini skirt with her blouse two-third unbuttoned.

"Make me feel like a woman again~!" she told the Captain in a voice as sexy as she can managed.

The Captain took his hands off the controls and took off his shirt and passed it to her and said,

"Iron this!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

might not be a good story teller like Almost Virgin but yea.. thats abt it... something similar that came to my mind as i read this post.

3:18 AM  
Blogger audrey said...

OMG.

It's hilarious. I could totally imagine giving flying kisses and saying those things. hahahahaha.

Excellent.

7:31 PM  

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