Masha Ala Mak Bar Shiokura - Chapter Two

** Please start reading from Chapter One if this is your first time reading this. Click here to begin your expedition with Masha Ala Mak Bar Shiokura.

** This article is best read if you know how to speak with a French accent

Morning class, its me Masha Ala Mak Bar Shiokura again.

To continue from where I left off, today I will teach the girls how to pick up a guy.

It is not that difficult for a girl to pick up a guy as compared to a guy picking up a girl. Men are stupid and they cannot think when it comes to circumstances like these. What is the average ratio that a girl gets picked up more often than a guy?

So why not try it out by attempting the following steps.

STEP 1
Lock your target. So you see that dashing prince of your dreams walking towards you. You know you need to make a move. Drop your hanky if you have one, if not drop your tissue. If it does not dig into him. Deliberately bump into him and apologise with the sweetest voice you could ever produce. Look at him with your watery eyes and remember to put lots of lip gauze on your lips. The shine would blind him.

STEP 2
Striking a conversation. Wait for a few seconds for him to recover the shock and now let’ talk. If he starts commenting on your beautiful dress or your beautiful shoes, accept the compliment and comment on his great taste.

If he said that you look like his tattoo artist, make sure he understands that you are able to give him a free tattoo and he will be painless.

If he says that he is an author of a what-so-ever book, make sure you laugh like a demure lady and keep questioning till he breaks.

STEP 3
The move. The most elegant move of all time without making yourself cheap. Put your hands on his shoulders and slowly, slowly, slowly move your way down to his elbows, making sure that the contact is never broken. Now slide slowly with two fingers down his elbow to his wrist. Slowly manoeuvre your fingers into his palm and make sure that your fingers end up tugging his little pinkie. Make sure you feel the tension and make sure that he feels the tension.

Look up. Smile. Checkmate!

** Disclaimer: None of the above has been certified nor tested by any practitioner. Choose to practice at your own risk.

Stay tune for Chapter Three