Cai Tao Kway and Chee Cheong Fun

I sat at the round table with strangers all around me. I observed at the unfamiliar faces. I can vividly see that piece of spring onion stuck between the front teeth of that ugly looking piece of meat with round spectacles. I can see him laughing at the top of his voice telling stupid corny jokes to the pretty lady accessorized with golden bracelets and bulky necklaces wearing a red cheongsam (Chinese traditional costume).

I can see that skinny young man playing with his chopsticks. I see that old lady adjusting her VPL (visible panty line). I must say these pictures are not very appealing. Everything was moody till I see my “Cai Tao Kway” walking in from the door.

She looked beautiful. A young woman, who used to be strong and outspoken, looked so demure and stunning on the red carpet. She was the prettiest I ever met and the prettiest I shall ever meet.

We have not met for the last 15 years and we somehow caught up with each other the last year and as if fate were playing a joke on me, I am now sitting here watching her smiling radiantly on the red carpet with the only memories of her that I have still lingering on the period of my little tanned girl with the cute pig tails. Some things never change.

We were both orphans and we met at the orphanage back in 1969. I remember that times were bad then and I grew up not knowing whom my parents are. From the moment I can start remembering, I already knew I was with a bunch of other kids where we lived together and slept together. Some of us had parents while some of us don’t. Some of them that I know were thrown here by their parents and some of us like me can only remember that we were born here.

It was back at the orphanage where I spent the sweetest time of my life. These are the memories that I want to bring to my deathbed and it was here where I met my “Cai Tao Kway”. We grew up together and we spent most of our time together. I loved “Cai Tao Kway” (Carrot Cake) so I called her “Cai Tao Kway”. She loved “Chee Cheong Fun”.

We slept together, we wept together and we pooped together. I remember holding her hands while we watch that scary show on TV. I remember sharing with her my lollipop when I got my pay. I remembered marrying her underneath that oak tree. I remember……

I remember her bleeding from her knees while protecting me from the neighbor’s dog. I remember her breaking her piggy bank to get me a football. I remember her crying when I pushed her that day……

We would do nothing the whole day but just spend it with each other by just walking down the river or sitting on the tree branch. Things were so peaceful then. The boys never played with me as I am always with my “Cai Tao Kway”. The boys would laugh at me and mocked me and kicked me. They would let the neighbor’s dog bite me. “Cai Tao Kway” would rush and protect me.

I remember punching the fat boy in the face that day because he said something mean about “Cai Tao Kway”. I punched him in the face and I got beaten up real bad. It was “Cai Tao Kway” who rubbed my wound that night. She never knew why I got beaten up as she never asked. She knew things happen for a reason.

I had enough of the boys bullying me and I decided to go and confront them. I stood up for myself and faced the boys. They said I could join them if I could beat them in soccer. So I joined their game and I scored three out of the only four goals in the game. The boys loved me.

I decided to spend more times with the boys from then. We played ball from day to night and we would fish and swim doing what boys do. I spend less time with my “Cai Tao Kway”. There was no more strolling by the beach or watching the sun set.

I heard that night the sound of breaking glass. I woke up and I saw her standing in front of her shattered pieces of her ex piggy bank. She bent down and she picked up the coins in her piggy bank, one by one. Things must happen for a reason, and I went back to sleep.

The next day she woke me up early in the morning. She said “Can I play with you?” In her hand she holds a brand new soccer ball. I looked at the ball and I looked at my “Cai Tao Kway”. What have I done? What have I done?

I took her hand and we went out to play ball. I missed the laughter and the smiles from her. I missed her.

The boys saw me playing ball with my “Cai Tao Kway” and they were not happy. They feel that I have abandoned them and I have become a girl again. They started calling me names again. They walked over to me this time and confronted me. My “Cai Tao Kway” rushed over and confronted them. They were quarrelling and I know I had to make a decision and I know that I made one that made me regret for the rest of my life. I walked towards them and I pushed “Cai Tao Kway” away. I swear it was a gentle push but she stumbled back and she fell onto the grass. She looked at me and she was crying. Was it really that painful? Did I hurt her back or did I hurt her somewhere else. I walked off with the boys praising me for what I did. I looked back and I see her alone on the floor sobbing.

I did not talk to her for the next few days and we were like strangers. No one could ever imagine how close we used to be.

I can still remember that it was a Thursday afternoon and some weird unfamiliar faces were at the orphanage that day. I was playing ball outside and I see my “Cai Tao Kway”. She was going up the vehicle that came with the strangers. Right away I knew what was happening.

They were taking my “Cai Tao Kway” away. I never felt the importance and I never felt the pain. Suddenly, it struck. It struck me to realize that I am going to lose her. I am going to lose her forever. I have never felt so lost in my life as I realized that I am going to lose her forever. The sound of the engine rang and again I made another big mistake of my life. I should have started running earlier.

I ran and I ran. I shouted and I shouted. I screamed and I screamed. I cried and I cried. I never caught up with that vehicle. At the end of the road, I can see a dot of it all driving away while I am left there panting. Tears are dripping and my heart is tearing.

“Its been a while. How have you been? You look so good.”

Awaken from the sweet voice; I realized my “Cai Tao Kway” was now standing in front of me. Dressed in her dazzling wedding gown, I looked at her.

“You look beautiful today.” I stuttered.

“Only today? So I am not pretty any other day?” she said with a sudden change in tone.

I kept quiet as I was dumbfounded and taken by shock.

“That was not what I meant. I mean… I mean…”, tilting my head down in shame.

“Come on, I was just pulling your leg” she chuckled. “So are you still eating Cai Tao Kway every morning?”

I wanted to ask her if she still loves her “Chee Cheong Fun”.

I looked up and I can only see that young lady that I once met in 1969 and the tanned skin she used to have with those two pig tails.

Some things never change.




Author
Johnny Kwek