The Story of Ah Long and the Damsel

Eh.. urm... this must be one of the worst thing I have ever written since primary school. I actually have doubts posting this up as it will ruin my reputation but heck lah, who cares about the reputation. What matters is that this blog entry is so un-real, fake and phony. And I must admit the language used is unprofessional and amatuerish. Please only read this if you are really really really bored.




Ah Long has been an Ah Long for 2 years now. His daily routines include fishing and reading, coupled with occasional visits to the market to get pig head and sting rays. Sporadically, he has to pay house visits at night to master his street paintings on walls and doors.

Ah Long would usually lurk around housing estates by the void deck waiting for his friend to come back and return him some money. But as time pasts by, the friend never came and Ah Long was unable to get his money. Ah Long is confused as no matter how hard he tries, he is unable to contact his friend. Therefore, Ah Long decided to use the easiest method to drop his friend a note. Being such a considerate friend, he understands that writings on paper usually induce a tendency for people to throw it away without reading. Being the most sensitive man around, Ah Long decided that by scribbling wordings on the friend’s door, the friend would definitely get the message. Ah Long wrote some huge words on the friend’s door. As a precaution, he wrote the same thing in the lift, the staircase, the void deck and on the neighbor’s dog. As the friend might not know who the sender of the message is, Ah Long decided to put a pig’s head so that the friend would know that it was him that send him the message although Ah Long bears no resemblance to a pig.

Recently, through MSN, Ah Long was exposed to a new hobby. An exceptionally interesting hobby that Ah Long would never though he would be addicted to. Comparatively to all the coke and marijuana that Ah Long had tried before, this one was much more special. Special to the extent that he cannot stop thinking about it. He used to play “Parang” fighting, so that he can practice on his self defense while vandalizing on the neighbor’s dog, on a daily basis with his best friend “Jenny”. Jenny has been his soul mate cum play mate for as long as Ah Long can remember. It was Jenny who listens to Ah Long pour out his sorrows and to share his joy. It was Jenny that helps Ah Long pass by the long lonely nights.

After Ah Long got involved in his new hobby, it was still Jenny who partakes in Ah Longs daily rendezvous with the melodious music rolling in the background. Regardless rain or shine, SARs or Bird Flu, Ah Long would hold Jenny by the hand and dances to the harmonious melody every single night.

One day, Ah Meng brought Ah Long to Union Square and Ah Long was dumbfounded. He was surprised to see the numerous people who share the same interest in the activity he does every night. He was surprised by the culture of the people in Union Square that dances to the melodious music he practices every night with Jenny.

Ever since that day, Ah Long goes down to Union Square every day except on Sunday so that he can enjoy the dance with the other friends that he has made at Union Square. Ah Long is happy, Ah Long is very happy. Ah Long is happy that he have made new friends. Ah Long is happy that he is dancing like there is no tomorrow. Ah Long is happy that he dances Salsa.

Ah Long recently met Ah Huei in Union Square. Ah Huei had difficulty mastering her left turns and seek to Ah Long for help. Ah Long takes great pride in helping this damsel in distress as firstly, he loves Salsa and wants everyone to be good in it. Secondly, he might have a little something for this damsel.

Back at the house where Ah Long stays, Jenny was not happy. Jenny is not happy anymore as Ah Long does not spend anymore time with her. Although Jenny understands that she is not real and all plastic, but to a certain extent she thought Ah Long would loved her forever. Jenny decided to do something drastic.

It was Sunday and Ah Long was at home. Ah Long was bored and decided to take Jenny out to practice his Salsa moves. Ah Long was dancing happily when suddenly, Jenny’s arm dropped and Ah Long was dumbfounded. Jenny’s arm has dropped onto the floor where Ah Long could just do was to look and stare. Ah Long tried to fix the arm back but to no avail. Jenny was smiling hard knowing Ah Long is getting flustered over her.

And then it happens, the door bell rang and guess who? Jenny was at the door with Ah Long's favourite Chendol. Ah Long panicked and stuff Jenny underneath the sofa. Jenny was jealous again as she knew that finally she got Ah Long’s attention but that stupid bitch has to come and steal it away.

Jenny sat down next to Ah Long as they enjoyed their Chendol. Jenny wanted to get her revenge. Jenny wanted to show the Damsel who she is and her status with Ah Long. Jenny slowly pushes her fallen hand out to the open from underneath the couch. As planned, the Damsel saw the fallen piece of arm from Jenny.

If you were the Damsel, what would you do?

The Damsel would:

a) be freaked out and look at Ah Long in astonishment. She would smack Ah Long in the face and scream like there is no tomorrow claiming that Ah Long is a freak. Jenny would be lying underneath the couch smiling.


b) Pick up the fallen arm and questioned Ah Long on the object. Ah Long would tell the Damsel the truth on his mannequin play mate and the Damsel would say that she is unable to accept such things and they each went their own way. Jenny eventually land up smiling.


c) Look at the fallen arm, takes out a broken limp from her bag. She explains that she loves to carry Joseph’s limp out everyday and they should let Jenny and Joseph meet. Jenny gone speechless.